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Jessica.
22.
Teacher.
Hello Kitty.
Manchester United.
Khekster.
My Kettle. <3

Friday, June 30, 2006

omg. i woke up at 4+pm todae.
broke my own record.
im so glad i finished my 2nd info essay outline.
but i haven start studying yet.
sob.
i seriously need help.
but in this society, there's no way i can get help.
well. i can only help myself.
gotta start studying tmr then.
my head is not in the right state right now.
im afraid its the medicine dats causing this.
didnt haf dinner todae oso.
anw a terrible dae todae la.
i rewarded myself wif mobtv again!
im being so naughty.
instead of studying, i went to watch mobtv.
ppl out there, plz dun follow me. im trained. =)
haha. if only i can skip studying n score well.
but dats nt gonna happen to sumone like me.
ok. im realli feeling so giddy once my head is moved.
so my head has to remain still while typing this.
my frenz knew abt junji.
n they were like telling me to go jio him.
but hes goin to army soon.
so they told me to tell him dat i'll wait for him.
but i juz dun haf the courage.
n i dunno how he will react.
we'll see how it goes la.
but i miss him alot realli.
been so long so long since we last bumped into each other.
how boring.
there's sch tmr.
chen ying's and brenda's lesson.
3 hours each my goodness.
bless me.
gotta wake up at 6am.
im afraid i'll oversleep again.
i hope not.
i dun wan to waste cab fare again.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

brazil won 3:0.
da jie placed a bet 3:1.
god. if ghana scored 1 goal, dajie would hav won.
france won 3:1.
seems like dajie placed the bet for the wrong match. =)
i told myself i wun join bel they all for the match at orchard forum.
but in the end i couldn resist the temptation.
i wanted to watch france vs spain v badly.
so i got dajie to drive me to orchard forum to join my frenz.
w didnt manage to watch the entire match coz half the time we were slping like pigs.
inside mac.
chengyao can snore so loudly, even the workers behind the counters stared at him.
n we met this uncle andy.
he told us so much abt him. for veri long.
my other frenz couldnt tahan dat long.
only bel n i perservered to the end.
but i was glad he shared his experience etc wif us la.
he meant well i noe.
after dat went to bel's hse to slp.
we didnt manage to wake up on time.
woke up at 12.15pm or so.
had to reach sch at 1pm.
so we chiong. took cab down.
was a bit late but shocked to see only a handful of ppl inside class.
so heng la. we werent dat late. phew.
omg. i forgot dat theres no matches on wed n thurs.
n we tot tmr night theres portugal vs england match.
so we planned to chiong chen ying's proj then catch the match tgt.
shit man.
so portugal's match is on sat.
ok la. at least nxt dae sun still not dat bad.
which means the c lit test is coming up real soon.
god. c lit is making me go crazy.
oh yea. saw weiqiang todae.
yu n the rez of them got so high.
n wad a coincidence.
i bumped into all my sports camp choba instructors todae!
except jason.
yu was goin gaga over joel la.
he told me joel is v gud looking.
ok i haf to agree wif him. =)
but i didnt haf the courage to say hi to him juz now.
n guess wad.
we signed up for the world cup finals show in np!
we paid $5 and food n drinks would be provided as well.
inside convention centre.
sounds like a gud deal. =)
im lookind forward to it!
dajie signed up for mobtv.
now wating for her to return home to help me fix sum problems.
i tink im realli bu pa si. (nt afraid of death)
haven even study my c lit n i wan to watch mobtv.
haix. outline has to be handed in on fri too.
wad shit world is this?
dun the lecturers noe dat this is the world cup season?
n world cup season = no projs n assignments!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

juz had dinner.
full.
didnt go sch todae. sob.
went to changi hosp to visit an epilepsy specialist.
he's Dr. Nigel Tan Choon Kiat.
omg. another JUNJIE.
i wonder how many junjieS i have to noe in my life.
anw he suggested to me dat i get a transfer to tantockseng.
coz my usual Dr. Ramani and him are frm tantockseng.
n dat tantockseng has better facilities.
he told me dat my condition is much complicated than usual ones.
so at tantockseng they would be able to conduct research etc.
my doasge has been increased to 7 pills a dae + 1 vitamin thingy pill.
god. when i can i ever stop eating all those pills.
truth is. my right side of the brain is the one givng me problems.
dat explains y im having minor epilepsy attacks everidae on my left hand.
i can still bear wif those minor attacks but plz. i dun wan major attacks animore.
it sux. none of the ppl ard me can understand how an epileptic patient feels.
it may sound alright to sum of u.
but unless u are epileptic urself, u wld nvr noe the trauma we face each time an attack occurs.
ok nvm. no point explaining.
i muz hav been a v evil person in my previous life n dats y this happens to me.
and btw. im not epileptic since i was young.
i only had attacks when i was in sec 3 or so.
and it was only a year ago when i realised i was epileptic.
yea. congrats me.
y cant i juz be as healthy as u ppl out there?
n i haf to make my parents worry for me.
meiting juz smsed me.
they wan to jio me to watch soccer at tamp mac.
n those who noe me well enuf wld noe dat i realli realli wan to go.
but i noe my parents will worry for me if i were to go.
n i believe my parents are so much more impt than a soccer match.
so i had to reject them.
haix. i realli wished i could go.
but i hope i made the right choice.
sry meiting. sry bel. sry zhai. sry yu.
i hope u all enjoy urselves to the max.
oh god. ok nvm. its over.
sumone plz save me.
save me frm all the tests n exams.
save me frm all the projects.
argH! im going berserk!
no time no time!
n i dun understand a single thing taught in chi lit.
i dunno if i made the right choice to choose CHS.
i hope i did.
couple of wishes here.
my family to be in the pink of health.
and me especially. improve my condition to lessen my parents' worry.
pass all my tests n exams.
i dun wan to repeat any of my modules.
*genie in the bottle, did u hear me?


im so sleepy.
serve me right.
watch soccer la.
haha. no la.
portugal leh. of coz must watch right.
oh yea man.
portugal won!!!
but c.ronaldo was injured by the opponents at the veri beginning.
n had to be taken off.
he cried. n i cried.
superband's MI LU BING was booted out!
omg!
sob again.
plz. bring them back on revival.
MI LU BING jia yoU!
spore idol 2's annabelle sat behind me during writ com todae.
gosh.
i hate her.
goodness. she realli cant sing n still behaves proudly. =(
kept falling asleep in class todae.
n yup.
during danny yeo's lesson i was so DIU LIAN.
ok. dun wish to be reminded. x:
anw i enjoyed staying overnight at zhai's place.
but didnt noe meiting wanted to watch soccer too.
if not she could join in the fun and i'll be so =) !
gonna miss sch tmr coz i haf to go hospital.
haix. it juz sux having epilepsy.
so ppl. plz take care of urself.
never neglect ur health.
oh ya. yu smsed n told me he saw fan at bus stop.
omg. argh.
well nvm. he's nt the right guy for me la.
ok. aku dak boleh tahan.
i haf to turn in now.
nitex.

Monday, June 26, 2006


im at tamp inter mac now!
wif bel.yu.joy!
waiting for portugal's match.
juz finished watching england vs ecuador's match.
exciting.
yu was screaming like hell.
no not scream. shrieked!
omg. so DIU LIAN!
we were the center of attraction.
especially when beckham appeared.
then i'll go OH MY GOD!
god. y is he born so charming n attractive?
haha.
yao yao would be joining us soon. =)
im so hyped right now!
honestly im realli worried for portugal.
haix. i realli pray dat portugal would defeat netherlands.
by a small margin would do.
i wun ask for more.
anyway.im realli glad i haf my frenz wif me.!
*plz. no writ com!!!!

Sunday, June 25, 2006



whew.
juz finished gathering all the info for my 2nd writ com outline.
im half dead.
went to tamp library to get another 4 world cup books.
i haf so many world cup books at home now.
im realli afraid i'll haf phobia of world cup now.
can u imagine writing an essay on world cup?
and teacher brenda led n led me to write about the role of brazil's in the history of world cup.
yu-p.
when i haf no interest in brazil at all.
s-ob.
how sad it is todae.
supposed to go for psp zouk's rehearsal.
but in the end didnt make it la.
so was wondering if i could still go for the actual dae.
was a little hurt when i received, "i dun tink u need to go lor"
i mean understandable la.
well.nvm. can save dat sundae for my family.
lesser cca points lo.
doesnt realli matter to me.
anyway had an enjoyable dae la.
dunno y recently been rather happy. =)
prob ive been way too depressed for past weeks.
well. its a gud thing for me.
oh god.
portugal would be competing against holland in the quarter finals.
i juz pray for them to win.
younger sis n bro haf been asking me abt quan.
hmm. juz stunned.
wonder how he's doin right now.
hope his family is on better terms now.
reminds me of junji as well.
kinda miss him alot alot alot.
he's goin to army soon.
in a mth or so.
i noe i wld be tinking of him alot.
he's one of the person dat god gave me to brighten up my life.
making those daes i spent wif him so memorable.
so hard to forget.
he's also the onlie person i gave my written diary to.
he juz holds this special position in my heart where no one else can enter.
tinking of him brought back far too many working memories.
loads of happy and unhappy ones.
be it happy or not, they are jus as precious to me.
i'll treasure them. really.
those days spent working were the stepping stones to maturity for me.
all i can say is, working at precious thots for half a year has been so memorable n beneficial.
all my colleagues have one way or another, helped me mature n grow.
thank u so much for the care n love u'v showered me.
i realli thank each n everyone of u frm the bottom of my heart. <3
wow. ok. enuf tok on my working days.
tmr's gonna be the last dae i can go all out for my writ com outline.
alright.
i'll be meeting those usual kakis at national library (bugis) to do our assignments together.
we are realli the study gang. like wad bel always says.
i bet she will at least smile abit when she reads this.
(eh. gif face lei. come on. smile la.)
oh yea man. dats the way. u look beautiful.
so wad am i doin now?
listening to jazz n typing this?
too bored for aniting else.
fotocopying is not an easy job ok.
especially when mine is home photocopying machine.
its slower than usual coz its juz like printing.
but of coz quality better la.
germany juz won the quarter finals against sweden.
2-0.
expected la.
da jie n er jie said the same thing when they came in my room.
omg. u got the adidas watch. i want it!
i bot the green one. n dat yu bot a green one too!
humph.
ppl would tink dat we're a couple ok.
oh plz.
*shudders.
anw without him buying i wouldnt haf got a gud price for it too.
only $76!
at raffles city's City Chain!
yu said dat the shopkeeper is gud looking too.
so u can check it out.
anw we didnt buy it todae la.
juz dat i didnt write dat down previously.
meeting them at 10.30am at bugis mrt.
so i haf to board the train frm tamp at 10am.
which means i'll haf to leave house at 9.4oam.
n i'll haf to wake up at 8.50am latest!!!
i seriously dun wan to oversleep.
they'll kill me n i'll kill myself.
ytd i slept so early at 11pm coz i knew i had to wake up at 6+am.
but in the end.
woke up at 10am.
guess i've been too tired recently.
lack of sleep.
nvm. take it as a rest ba.
skip the psp lor.
so find out in my blog tmr whether i managed to wake up on time or not ok?
i wan to haf a nice shower first before i hide under my blanket (wad a cold day).
so nth more to crap le la.
cya!

Friday, June 23, 2006

venue: np library
mood: sian
yupz.
very bored.
haix.
no mood to do brenda's write com 2nd outline.
but i noe i stil haf to complete it sumdae.
by sch reopens.
sobz.
poly's life is not ez. =(
n i dun tink the environment allows me to study as well.
library is a no no for me.
perhaps atrium is better compared to library though it's nt air conditioned.
maybe i'll haf to borrow books regarding the history of brazil in world cup afterwards.
shall do it now.

Thursday, June 22, 2006



*omg. in clementi's mrt toilet oso can zi lian. * im the one in pink of coz.! =)
wanted to go to sch wif bel n yu for study.
but daddy came home.
he always tells me ive been so bz n didnt spend time at home.
so i dropped the idea of goin to sch n decided to stay home.
chatted wif bel n yu online.
toked abt so many things.
felt alot better after toking to them.
they made me realised how fortunante i am to be in a happy family.
im blessed wif parents who always care for me.
im blessed wif 4 siblings who are so hyper n fun loving.
im blessed wif frenz who can make me get so high.
so WO SHI XING FU DE !!
quote of the dae: jealous of others suffer own loss.* =)


OMG....
haven been so happy for so many daes le.
went sch for np idol todae.
n im so mesmerised by B7 !
his name is QUN FAN (Cheun fun).
he is realli cute n most imptly, he's a v nice person.
i was screaming for him so crazily n im glad he acknowledged it!
of coz i cast a vote for him but unfortunately he didnt make it thru.
its ok fan! i'll still be supporting u yea?
im so touched when he came down stage to thank me and we shook hands!
i was so shocked n didnt noe wad to say.
n i ended up saying congrats.
omg. wad de hell.
in another way, i was congratulating him for his wonderful performance.
i realli tink dat he sang v well.
then after we got tank's autograph, i wanted to look for him.
but so many things happened in btwn n i cant realli xplain thru words.
we were told dat he left n i was so disaapointed n upset.
n my tears juz rolled.
but after dat calvin went to look for him n he appeared right infront of my eyes!
omg.
so embarrassing.
so took a pic wif him.
not 4getting his number n email as well.
he told us he's in multimedia n animation.
year 1.
single.
18 yrs old.
the 18 yr old part i found out myself.
haha.
but i juz find him v nice la.
wang yu is v supportive of me n kept telling me to be wif him..
but we dun realli match, do we?
i dunno wadever's gonna happen to us in future.
but i'll be v supportive of him for sure.
im realli happy todae.
* fan: wo hui yong yuan ting ni dao di!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

* Lee Wei Song n US!! spOt me in bluE!!
venue: canteen 1.
hmm.
a veri happy dae today i muz say.
been sum time since i last feel so happy alr.
had extra lessons in the morning.
chinese lit.
yea. nan nan rox.
had breakfast wif shuang shuang at clementi's mac.
enjoyed myself a lot.
shuang shuang n i were so high juz now during lessons.
went crazy.
im realli happy la. =)
do u envy me? hahaha.


i got it straightened out.
after i let it out todae, i felt so much better.
been too hard on myself for the past few daes.
i shld learn to treat myself bettter.
not forgetting to treat others better too.
especially frens who've been so supportive of me all along.
especially when the situation has changed now, they still show signs of support.
thanks to these ppl:
shuang shuang lao po.
ai ren, meiting
bel jie.
yu ge.
hao ge men, joy.
fung, soccer fan cum fren.
zhang xian sheng.
i juz wan to let u guys noe how much i luv u ppl.
all of u haf been my pillar of strength.
n i need u guys.
i promise all of u i wun be defeated so easily.
i wun let this small matter get in my way.
in fact, i hav alr kicked them aside.
off my way.

Monday, June 19, 2006

im in sch now.
atrium.
yea. n saw her.
n zhai jun juz told me wad she saw juz now.
yup.
expected.
but im alright.
im ok.
it doesnt matter to me animore.
the earth doesnt juz revolve ard me.
i haf to get on wif life.
a new life.
i'll be strong.


ok.im back.
feeling v down again.
at least im able to let out my feelings here.
todae is father's dae.
though i feel so ******* down inside, i had to put on a smile.
a smile dats so nt real.
no doubt i wished i could put on the bez smile.
but i juz cant.
im sry dad.
i realli am.
coz i noe no one luvs me more than u do.
no one cares for me juz like u do.
im simply a thing,
dat happens to be on earth,
at the wrong time,
wrong place.
i dun feel my presence.
i cant feel my presence.
i often mock at myself.
for being stupid.
being an idiot.
to put my heart n soul in him.
i shldnt haf.
it was expected.
i knew it.
i saw it cuming.
he will nvr be able to make up for the hurt he has given me.
never.
but i see myself singing praises of him in front of karmen.
i see myself encouraging him to woo karmen.
i see myself saying all i could at both sides to get them together.
i hate myself.
i realli hate myself.
im hating myself so much i wished i was never alive.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

i hate this.
the world is turning against me.
or perhaps im goin against the world.
had a tiff with my family.
wads wrong wif everybody else in the world?
or i shld say wad the hell is wrong wif me?
wads goin on?
i feel im no longer part of this world.
oh.
i tink im dead.
hooray.


back again.
my second entry.
coz i realli need sumone to tok to so badly.
sumone has juz pierced my heart <3.
deeply.
i dunno wad i shld say.
im lost.
lost in a forest.
lost my way.
its so dark in here.
im gonna die.
dun rescue me.
let me go.
peacefully.



*lack of guys...dats wad happens....
haix...been tinking alot todae.
as planned, we went for the tok todae.
n took a pic wif Li Wei Song as well.
the talk was alright. rather enjoyable.
went to hav BK after dat.
loads of laughter. =)
rushed home to change into my portugal shirt n cap!
i went alone.
but after dat er jie n her bf came to watch wif me.
juz realised tmr's father's dae.
er jie got a four leave cake $25.
so the 5 of us (children) chipped in $5 each.
PORTUGAL WON!
2: nil !
C.ronaldo scored one penalty shot!
i luv him!
oh well. seems like im v happy.
but im not.
i tink im giving max up.
still not too sure of dat but moz probably.
i mean kinda losing hope la.
disappointments.
he's online now btw.
he told me he has finished his night walk.
he muz haf enjoyed himself alot.
n karmen can realli hit it off well wif him.
though she did complain abt him.
well dont realli concern me.
so i better nt interupt.
to me, my frenship wif karmen is much more impt.
so i wun let this get btwn us.
all i can say is all the bez to them.
well life still goes on.
the earth still goes round.
its time for me to move on n buck up.
i musnt be the jessica i used to be.
i admit it'll still take me sum time to get him off my mind.
but i promise myself i will.
becoz nth's gonna cum out of it.
if i can dream it....i can do it.
qianxiang: do take care.
i shall not waste anymore of ur time.

Saturday, June 17, 2006


im back doing blogging again.
i dunno y im doin this but i juz did it.
n i wonder how long i'll be doin blogging be4 i stop again.
been at home the entire day juz becoz i haf plans tmr.
haf to attend this tok at 2pm and catching my portugal soccer match at night.
if wangyu etc are not goin along wif me then i shall bring nana to watch.
gonna put on my portugal shirt n cap n scream for portugal.
hey i placed a bet ok.
bless me.
life's been tough but enjoyable so far.
no doubt there're many projects n assignments to complete.
but i haf v nice frens ard me who hav been v supportive n helpful.
thanks ppl.
i wouldnt haf survived till now without u guys.
TO2 juz rox man.
(not forgetting sum TO1 ppl too.)
guess many of my frenz hav heard abt maxonline, maxicab, maximum etc.
yea. in short. MAX.
ive been tinking alot abt it recently n i wonder if i shld juz gif up the thought.
no particular reason but getting abit tired.
n how sad.
i dreamt dat he died.
n his hand was dislocated.
n i brought his hand all the way to his house to gif it to his family.
surprisingly, they werent the least upset at all.
i was so hurt.
i handed them the hand n rushed out of his house.
i knelt on the ground.
n cried my hearts out.
n u noe wad.
i was crying in reality.
n dats how i woke myself up.
ytd was the first time we chatted in msn for some time.
im realli glad.
he told me he wld be goin for vb camp todae.
all the bez max.
take care of urself ya.
zhaijun n wangyu haf been v supportive of me n max.
but it was until recently dat i paused n gave it a careful tot.
do i realli wan to be wif him?
do i realli like him?
i haf no idea y i fell for him.
shld i just forget him?