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Jessica.
22.
Teacher.
Hello Kitty.
Manchester United.
Khekster.
My Kettle. <3

Monday, June 19, 2006

ok.im back.
feeling v down again.
at least im able to let out my feelings here.
todae is father's dae.
though i feel so ******* down inside, i had to put on a smile.
a smile dats so nt real.
no doubt i wished i could put on the bez smile.
but i juz cant.
im sry dad.
i realli am.
coz i noe no one luvs me more than u do.
no one cares for me juz like u do.
im simply a thing,
dat happens to be on earth,
at the wrong time,
wrong place.
i dun feel my presence.
i cant feel my presence.
i often mock at myself.
for being stupid.
being an idiot.
to put my heart n soul in him.
i shldnt haf.
it was expected.
i knew it.
i saw it cuming.
he will nvr be able to make up for the hurt he has given me.
never.
but i see myself singing praises of him in front of karmen.
i see myself encouraging him to woo karmen.
i see myself saying all i could at both sides to get them together.
i hate myself.
i realli hate myself.
im hating myself so much i wished i was never alive.