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Jessica.
22.
Teacher.
Hello Kitty.
Manchester United.
Khekster.
My Kettle. <3

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

i dont noe how i shld start off this entry.
but i juz noe i haf feelings which i wish to express.

i feel so argh..
its so hard to describe dat kind of feeling.
imagine u received one v sudden msg frm one of ur closest fren
it goes like this :
"i hate jessica.
i realli do.
she sucks.
lets find a blangadash and fuck her."

WOW.
im sure u would be v amazed right.
i dont noe y this msg would land in my hands
but sumhow or another,
perhaps send wrongly or wad,
it ended up wif me.

i had sum arguments wif this fren of mine a wk ago
n for the past few daes our r/s was rather cold.
but at least it didnt boil wadsoever.
cold but peaceful.
so i told myself i should juz let dat matter fade
n u noe,
get back to how we used to be.

den i received this shocking msg.
how am i supposed to react?
smile?
cry?
flare up?
i realli dont noe.
bt to be honest,
i feel hurt.

i tot we were v gud frenz back then.
we survived the sleepless nights
chiong-ing projects tgt,
we had so much fun at her hse n my hse doing projs,
we enjoyed the times we play a fool n
laugh n talk like deres no one ard,
we take train tgt to sch,
we chiong cab down tgt to sch,
we rush to class tgt n always end up getting a big 0 by tk,
we nv fail to haf fun everydae.

i tot the argument was juz smth so small it
wont affect our frenship.
but i understand frenz do quarrel n dats
how they treasure each other more.
so i tot dat argument dat dae was one of them.
i didnt expect it to turn out this way.
i realised its smth dat serious when
she actualli used ugly words on me.

i dont noe how many of u can realli
understand wad im going thru now.
i may appear as if i treat this as smth light
and i realli tot so too at first.
but when i realised i juz cant stop tinking abt dat msg
n i cant get to slp,
i knew deep in my heart dat
im seriously affected by this.

mayb there were lots of things which ive
done wrongly dat made her
so unhappy wif me.
i dont noe wads on her mind
n so i dont noe wad she likes/dislikes
me to do etc.

its 4.26am.
tmr gotta wake up at 8am.
wad a torturous night.
i juz wan peace.
P-E-A-C-E.