Pot <3 Kettle always.

the time now is 2.47am
and here i am, BLOGGING.
how great.

i'll haf to get out of my bed at 6.45am tmr.
god noes if i can wake up on time.
but sumhow i jus haf to.
coz i'll be having 2 tests tmr.

argh shucks.
i realli hate this.
there're simply far too many things for me to study.
furthermore,
i dunno wad the heck global is toking abt.
felt as if
"the words know me but i dont noe them".
this is so pek cek la.
i hate to gif up.
i dont believe in dat.
coz i noe i alr haf the keys in my hands,
its a matter of me wanting to unlock it or not.
but hello.
i cant even find the door now.
how am i supposed to unlock it?
Xin you yu er li bu zu. (correct right?)
feel so helpless right now.
if sumone juz cums n save me frm all these,
no doubt i would be so madly in luv wif him now.
but its always hard to accept the truth.
deres NO ONE.
nt a single soul at all.
i dun mind anyone really.
juz grant me this small lil wish
pretty plz?
i juz need sumbody.
anyone will do.
coz even my dearest small sis went over to
my erjie's room to slp
n tada.
im left all alone in this room of mine.
sry ppl.
im definitely nt being desperate.
perhaps juz this empty feeling inside me.
haf been single for nearly 2 years ok.
n i can forsee
i'll carry on like this for next few years.
pathetic can.
oh well dun tok abt this anymore shall we?

argh.
conlan test tmr.
contemporary language if u dunno wad it means.
20 ques half an hour.
wad de.
how am i supposed to finish it all?
i need time to tink too!
lets see.
30 mins divided by 20 ques.
the average time u can spend on one ques is
1.5mins.
notice dat i didnt minus off the time
u need for "human reaction time" (learnt this in physics).
as in when tcher says start.
u need time to react to dat too right.
den u need to write ur name.
ur student number.
den u need time to start ur engine.
all the above takes time.
so to be exact,
the max time u haf is 25 mins.
if u calculate again,
u onlie haf
1.25 mins at most for one ques.
*faint.

im looking forward to teach in ngeeann pri's star programme!
starting this friday!
i wonder how big one class is.
im starting to feel this strong connection wif naps alr.
especially aft 2 weeks spent in naps
n the warm welcome i recieved frm the tchers
juz made me feel like returning to naps after my NIE training.
alfred saw me the other dae in hms office
n he called me looking so xcited.
n later i found out dat
the principal of naps specially wrote a letter to praise us
for our effort n hardwork put in the camp.
but wad made me realli touched
was dat she actualli mentioned my name frequently in the letter
n praised me for my enthusiasm shown in the camp!
i could see alfred was realli proud of it
n he was telling me abt how "powerful" a principal's letter can be.
he said this letter would add alot of colours to my testi
n would definitely be of great help to me in NIE.
so most likely i would be posted to naps for attachment
n even teach in there for 5 years.
i dun mind seriously.
bryan told me the chinese department in naps is nt dat bad.
n god.
i realli miss bryan.
oh well,
he's 28.
im 18.
28-18=10
10= impossible.
hope i get to see him every fri when i return to naps to teach.
dats all i ask for.

im seriously planning to go for the yep trip this sep.
im realli keen on it.
going to xiamen.
but im facing a prob here.
deres no one to go wif me.
so its either i dun go
or if not i shall go alone n make frens wif the other 27 unfamiliar faces.
the latter sounds better.
i noe my parents worry for me
coz of my medical condition.
but its smth i haf to live wif for the rez of my life.
so im trying nt to let it affect my life u see.
im sure anyone out dere would
see me as a bubbly n full of crap girl
instead of a weakling.
yes dats wad i wan.
i never wan ppl to see the ugly side of me.
n i pray they will nv get to see it.
omg.
my xiamen trip.
a very meaningful trip indeed.
haiz.
"should i stay or should i go?"

time now is 3.37am.
mayb i should catch sum slp?